Once upon a time there were two crusaders who decided that they would rescue Britain and its Christian Heritage. They did not ask for Britain’s permission. They were, after all, American and, as we all know, Americans can do anything.
These crusaders had a Crusader patron saint called Stephen the Great. Don’t confuse him with the first martyr. Their saint has been described as a Serbian Sword Swinger. He killed loads of Muslim Turks and built churches in places where he won battles.
The crusaders (who are American brothers) decided that they should emulate St Stephen and build new churches. They did not target Muslim lands (too dangerous). They decided to rescue Britain’s Christian Heritage by buying up redundant Anglican churches and turning them into Orthodox places of worship.
If they had stuck to that plan they would probably have been fine but they got ambitious and decided to take on a chain of bookshops in Britain and caused an unholy row.
He tried to change booksellers contracts so that they would work on Sundays.
When booksellers protested he fired them by e-mail but claimed that he had acted within the law.
The brothers seemed invincible. They did not care what they did to people. In fact they had absolutely no respect for others. They would skip meetings, ignore e-mails and expect everybody to do as they were told including getting their laundry for them and booking them into cheap hotels.
Soon everybody started getting pretty mad at the brothers. Star bloggers like Dave Walker at Cartoonchurch took them on. Workers walked out, suppliers who had remained unpaid stopped sending books to the shops. In short even the nicer shops started looking like sheds.
The Brewers made a movie about their “noble” work and starred in it. They even put themselves on YouTube. They sent e-mails to shops with pictures of themselves attached. They loved their “noble” work.
St Stephen up on some cloud or the other got to hear about what was going on and decided to do something about it.
One crusader was shocked!
He declared the shops bankrupt under American law (not recognised in the UK) so that he could escape paying workers’ wages and made the remaining shops put their takings into another account in the name of St Stephen the Great Charitable Trust.
He updated the on-line website so that people could buy not just Orthodox books but also pornography. It seemed he had really lost the plot. But he had another cunning plan. This time he would really deceive the people of Britain. He would start a brand new company called…
ENC SHOP MANAGEMENT COMPANY
THAT WILL CONFUSE THOSE STUPID BRITS
Tags: Uncategorized
2008/07/15 at 9:20 pm
asingleblog very clever, the cartoon about the keys and the plane,wonder were the plane is now maybe if they sold it they could pay some suppliers accounts.thats if they ever had a plane
2008/07/16 at 5:59 am
Justice if you go by what other bloggers say, then the plane is still out in a field near Cornwall. A friend had a duplicate key to the plane and that friend was away at the time. I reckon that anybody can go to a plane museum, hire a “red baron” cap and goggles, dress like Snoopy and then have your picture taken. They do that kind of thing in America.
2008/07/23 at 12:12 pm
St Stephen the Great seems to have shown up again in Serbia practising alternative medicine, in disguise as Radovan Karadzic. International authorities are now searching for his associates such as Ratko Mladic and Mark Brewer.
2008/07/23 at 7:16 pm
Peter, Radovan Kardzic aims to represent himself in court. According to the trustee, Randy W. Williams, Mark Brewer is the attorney for SSG.
2008/07/23 at 10:58 pm
I’ve decided Karadzic is too nice a character to associate with St Stephen the Great. Anyway the saint seems to have been Romanian rather than Serbian. So I just wrote about his real life close association with Dracula – historical fact!